Listen, my children, and you shall hear
Sarah Palin’s version of the midnight ride of Paul Revere.
On the eighteenth of April, in Seventy-Five,
Hardly a man is now alive
Who remembers that story the way she makes it appear.
Forget the lantern and the story it tells.
In Sarah’s version, there were no lanterns – only bells.
And forget Samuel Adams, told the British were coming as he lay in his bed.
According to Sarah, Paul Revere didn’t warn American colonists. He warned the Brits, instead.
Now, of course, this is not what historians have told us all along.
But Sarah says, for 236 years, everybody else got it all wrong.
In Sarah’s world, nothing we learned in school is actually true.
And – would you believe? – Nazi Germany won World War II.
What Sarah Palin says about our past is really no mystery.
While running for president, she is rewriting history.
Which brings us back to what Paul Revere saw from the steeple.
And represents a serious warning to the American people:
One if by land, two if by sea,
There’s never been a nuttier presidential candidate than she.